Thursday, February 22, 2007
Catch-21
Sometime in September 2006, I received notification from my military unit of a call-up for a military exercise fixed for April 2007.
Then last week I got a letter from the Army. The first hint that something was wrong was that the letter was dated 6th November 2006. I looked at the post mark on the envelope - that was dated 10th February 2007.
With increasing trepidation I read the contents of the letter. It said that effective 16th October 2006 I had been transferred to a new military unit. I logged on to the internet and confirmed my expectations - I was still scheduled for the military exercise in April 2007 with my old unit despite being posted to a new unit, presumably from October 2006 onwards.
It therefore appears that what the Army has done is as follows - In September 2006 they schedule me for a military exercise to take place in April 2007. One month later, they transfer me to a new unit. 3 weeks after the "effective" date of transfer, they write the letter notifying me of the transfer. 3 MONTHS after that they post the letter to me. And it appears that 2 months after notifying me of my transfer to a new unit, they expect me to do a military exercise with my old unit.
Beautiful isn't it? I call it Catch-21.
It's just 1 step removed from the famous Catch-22 in Joseph Heller's novel:
Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. "Is Orr crazy?"
"He sure is," Doc Daneeka said.
"Can you ground him?"
"I sure can but first he has to ask me to. That's part of the rule."
"Then why doesn't he ask you to?"
"Because he's crazy," Doc Daneeka said. "He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. Sure I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to."
"That's all he has to do to be grounded?"
"That's all. Let him ask me."
"And then you can ground him?" Yossarian asked.
"No, then I can't ground him."
"You mean there's a catch?"
"Sure there is a catch," Doc Daneeka replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy."
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, that specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them.
Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of the clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. "That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.
"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka replied.
Sometime in September 2006, I received notification from my military unit of a call-up for a military exercise fixed for April 2007.
Then last week I got a letter from the Army. The first hint that something was wrong was that the letter was dated 6th November 2006. I looked at the post mark on the envelope - that was dated 10th February 2007.
With increasing trepidation I read the contents of the letter. It said that effective 16th October 2006 I had been transferred to a new military unit. I logged on to the internet and confirmed my expectations - I was still scheduled for the military exercise in April 2007 with my old unit despite being posted to a new unit, presumably from October 2006 onwards.
It therefore appears that what the Army has done is as follows - In September 2006 they schedule me for a military exercise to take place in April 2007. One month later, they transfer me to a new unit. 3 weeks after the "effective" date of transfer, they write the letter notifying me of the transfer. 3 MONTHS after that they post the letter to me. And it appears that 2 months after notifying me of my transfer to a new unit, they expect me to do a military exercise with my old unit.
Beautiful isn't it? I call it Catch-21.
It's just 1 step removed from the famous Catch-22 in Joseph Heller's novel:
Yossarian looked at him soberly and tried another approach. "Is Orr crazy?"
"He sure is," Doc Daneeka said.
"Can you ground him?"
"I sure can but first he has to ask me to. That's part of the rule."
"Then why doesn't he ask you to?"
"Because he's crazy," Doc Daneeka said. "He has to be crazy to keep flying combat missions after all the close calls he's had. Sure I can ground Orr. But first he has to ask me to."
"That's all he has to do to be grounded?"
"That's all. Let him ask me."
"And then you can ground him?" Yossarian asked.
"No, then I can't ground him."
"You mean there's a catch?"
"Sure there is a catch," Doc Daneeka replied. "Catch-22. Anyone who wants to get out of combat duty isn't really crazy."
There was only one catch and that was Catch-22, that specified that a concern for one's own safety in the face of dangers that were real and immediate was the process of a rational mind. Orr was crazy and could be grounded. All he had to do was ask; and as soon as he did, he would no longer be crazy and would have to fly more missions. Orr would be crazy to fly more missions and sane if he didn't, but if he was sane, he had to fly them.
Yossarian was moved very deeply by the absolute simplicity of the clause of Catch-22 and let out a respectful whistle. "That's some catch, that Catch-22," he observed.
"It's the best there is," Doc Daneeka replied.
Wednesday, February 21, 2007
Horrorscope for the Week of 19th February
One of your greatest problems is your inability to ignore oversimplified, arbitrary, and potentially unsound advice from dubious sources.
One of your greatest problems is your inability to ignore oversimplified, arbitrary, and potentially unsound advice from dubious sources.
Labels: Horrorscope
Monday, February 12, 2007
Horrorscope for the Week of 12th February
You are a naturally suspicious person, but you must stop suspecting yourself of having an ulterior motive.
You are a naturally suspicious person, but you must stop suspecting yourself of having an ulterior motive.
Labels: Horrorscope
Tuesday, February 06, 2007
He had me at "F*cking Idiot"
Forget Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. The hot shot in American politics to watch for is Democrat Congressman Rahm Emanuel.
As Chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, it was Rahm who orchestrated the Democrats' massive victory in the U.S. Congressional Elections late last year. Described by Rolling Stones magazine as "The Enforcer" and Fortune magazine as a "Pitbull Politician", Rahm broke with tradition by handpicking Democrat candidates himself, twisted arms for campaign funding and crushed dissent on his way to installing the Democrats back in power in Congress without losing a single Democrat incumbent seat (not achieved since 1922).
At the age of 30, Rahm worked as a fund raiser for Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's re-election campaign. His hard ball tactics resulted in donors ponying up US$7 million in 13 weeks - an unprecedented sum at that time. On the strength of that and other incidents, Rahm was invited to join Bill Clinton's Presidential Primary campaign at the age of 32. He reportedly introduced himself to Clinton's staff by standing on a table and yelling at them for 45 minutes.
He advised Clinton to delay lobbying in the New Hampshire primary and focus on fund raising instead. After some heated debates, Clinton agreed to go with Rahm's strategy and it paid off. Paul Tsongas won the New Hampshire primary but later withdrew due to a lack of funds. The US$72 million war chest Rahm raised early on helped Clinton do effective damage limitation when the Gennifer Flowers scandal broke.
The night after Clinton was elected President, at a celebratory dinner with campaign colleagues, Rahm stood up with a steak knife and began announcing the names of Clinton's betrayers and enemies. He shouted "Dead!" and plunged the steak knife into the table after every name. An eye witness says "When he was done, the table looked like a lunar landscape. It was like something out of The Godfather. But that's Rahm for you."
At the age of 33, he became a White House senior adviser to President Clinton. Just before Prime Minister Tony Blair's first public appearance with President Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Rahm reportedly told the PM "This is important. Don't f*ck it up."
After 6 years in the White House, Rahm joined investment firm Wasserstein Perella where he earned more than US$18 million in 2 and a half years. Then in 2002 he became a Congressman for a Chicago district.
He once wrote an article entitled "How to Beat a Republican" which said "once you have succintly spelt out your own program, you can start dredging up dirt on your opponent. The untainted Republican has not yet been invented."
In last year's congressional campaign, he broke the unwritten rule that the heads of the Democratic campaign and the Republican campaign would not attack each other. Of his opposite number, Tom Reynolds, he is reported as having said to his staff "“What’s Reynolds’s negatives? What’s his job approval? If you were going to hit him with a hammer, which is what we’re about to do today, what would you hit him with?”
On election night, when CNN projected that the Democrats will take back the House of Representatives, Rahm stood on his desk and yelled to his staff "The Republicans can go f*ck themselves!"
But of all the things Rahm has said and done, my favourite is the following quote from GQ magazine:
Within the first forty-five seconds or so of our first interview, he called me a f*cking idiot—though I soon learned I wasn’t special in that regard. James Carville, Rahm’s pal since their days together on the 1992 Clinton campaign, later told me not to sweat it: “Everybody is a f*cking idiot to Rahm.” Not even Bill Clinton is spared. When I ask the former President what is the bluntest thing Rahm has ever said to him, he tells me, “It’s unprintable.”
He had me at calling everyone a f*cking idiot :)
Forget Hillary Clinton or Barack Obama. The hot shot in American politics to watch for is Democrat Congressman Rahm Emanuel.As Chairman of the Democratic Congressional Campaign Committee, it was Rahm who orchestrated the Democrats' massive victory in the U.S. Congressional Elections late last year. Described by Rolling Stones magazine as "The Enforcer" and Fortune magazine as a "Pitbull Politician", Rahm broke with tradition by handpicking Democrat candidates himself, twisted arms for campaign funding and crushed dissent on his way to installing the Democrats back in power in Congress without losing a single Democrat incumbent seat (not achieved since 1922).
At the age of 30, Rahm worked as a fund raiser for Chicago Mayor Richard Daley's re-election campaign. His hard ball tactics resulted in donors ponying up US$7 million in 13 weeks - an unprecedented sum at that time. On the strength of that and other incidents, Rahm was invited to join Bill Clinton's Presidential Primary campaign at the age of 32. He reportedly introduced himself to Clinton's staff by standing on a table and yelling at them for 45 minutes.
He advised Clinton to delay lobbying in the New Hampshire primary and focus on fund raising instead. After some heated debates, Clinton agreed to go with Rahm's strategy and it paid off. Paul Tsongas won the New Hampshire primary but later withdrew due to a lack of funds. The US$72 million war chest Rahm raised early on helped Clinton do effective damage limitation when the Gennifer Flowers scandal broke.
The night after Clinton was elected President, at a celebratory dinner with campaign colleagues, Rahm stood up with a steak knife and began announcing the names of Clinton's betrayers and enemies. He shouted "Dead!" and plunged the steak knife into the table after every name. An eye witness says "When he was done, the table looked like a lunar landscape. It was like something out of The Godfather. But that's Rahm for you."
At the age of 33, he became a White House senior adviser to President Clinton. Just before Prime Minister Tony Blair's first public appearance with President Clinton during the Monica Lewinsky scandal, Rahm reportedly told the PM "This is important. Don't f*ck it up."
After 6 years in the White House, Rahm joined investment firm Wasserstein Perella where he earned more than US$18 million in 2 and a half years. Then in 2002 he became a Congressman for a Chicago district.
He once wrote an article entitled "How to Beat a Republican" which said "once you have succintly spelt out your own program, you can start dredging up dirt on your opponent. The untainted Republican has not yet been invented."
In last year's congressional campaign, he broke the unwritten rule that the heads of the Democratic campaign and the Republican campaign would not attack each other. Of his opposite number, Tom Reynolds, he is reported as having said to his staff "“What’s Reynolds’s negatives? What’s his job approval? If you were going to hit him with a hammer, which is what we’re about to do today, what would you hit him with?”
On election night, when CNN projected that the Democrats will take back the House of Representatives, Rahm stood on his desk and yelled to his staff "The Republicans can go f*ck themselves!"
But of all the things Rahm has said and done, my favourite is the following quote from GQ magazine:
Within the first forty-five seconds or so of our first interview, he called me a f*cking idiot—though I soon learned I wasn’t special in that regard. James Carville, Rahm’s pal since their days together on the 1992 Clinton campaign, later told me not to sweat it: “Everybody is a f*cking idiot to Rahm.” Not even Bill Clinton is spared. When I ask the former President what is the bluntest thing Rahm has ever said to him, he tells me, “It’s unprintable.”
He had me at calling everyone a f*cking idiot :)
Monday, February 05, 2007
Horrorscope for Week of 5th February
There are no blemishes on your kind and compassionate soul but this is more than made up for by the ones on your arms, face and renal system.
There are no blemishes on your kind and compassionate soul but this is more than made up for by the ones on your arms, face and renal system.
Friday, February 02, 2007
How to Draft a Notice of Appeal
The following legal "pleading" (if I may use the phrase liberally) is apparently authentic.
The Appellant, Mr. George C. Swinger Jr., is a prison inmate in Washington State who was not impressed with Judge Leighton's ruling against him in a civil case.
The key sentences in his NoA are as follows:
The following legal "pleading" (if I may use the phrase liberally) is apparently authentic.
The Appellant, Mr. George C. Swinger Jr., is a prison inmate in Washington State who was not impressed with Judge Leighton's ruling against him in a civil case.
The key sentences in his NoA are as follows:
"I hereby am informing you that I am appealing the asshole Ronald B. Leighton's decision in this matter.
You have been hereby served Notice.
You're not getting away with this shit that easy."
I wonder what he's in prison for?
Contempt of Court maybe?
I wonder what he's in prison for?
Contempt of Court maybe?
Thursday, February 01, 2007
Horrorscope for Week of 29th January
Next time you will learn to be more suspicious of a company whose financial accounts are organized under the headings “drug money”, “blood money” and “hush money”.
Note: These weekly "horror"scopes are just for fun. They do not refer to anyone in particular, real or imagined or anyone imagined by imaginary people.
Next time you will learn to be more suspicious of a company whose financial accounts are organized under the headings “drug money”, “blood money” and “hush money”.
Note: These weekly "horror"scopes are just for fun. They do not refer to anyone in particular, real or imagined or anyone imagined by imaginary people.
