Wednesday, October 26, 2005
The Pushy Tele-Marketer
About once a week I get a call from a tele-marketer about one of the following:
a) Some new product I don’t want regardless of the price;
b) Some old product I’ve never wanted regardless of the sale price;
c) One of the above that I don’t want to buy in bulk regardless of the discount price; or,
d) “Hello, is that Mr. Lee? No? Sorry, wrong number.”
My standard answer when offered some new product, old product, bulk product or wrong number is to say “No, thanks.” If they persist, I get sarcastic, just to amuse myself. They hang up fairly quickly from there. Today however, I got a call from the pushy tele-marketer (“TM”) with a surgically removed sense of sarcasm.
Lines in italics & grey are thoughts I had to stop myself from speaking out:-
TM: Hello Sir, I am calling about the flyer you received when you attended the Law-Media Debate at the Supreme Court last Friday. We got your number from the namecard you dropped into the box. Have you read the flyer?
Me: No. Can you just quickly tell me what it’s about?
TM: Well, we’re not a beautician …
Lady, we could be here all day if you keep telling me what you are not …
TM: We’re a clinic offering skin treatment, therapeutic massage and weight loss programs.
Ah! Old products I’ve never wanted unless I increase in bulk …
Me: You know, I don’t think I’ll be interested.
TM: Do you practice good skin care?
Me: I wear a hat sometimes when I play golf. Does that count?
Sarcasm mode engaged.
TM: If you come down to the clinic we will give you a free skin examination.
Me: It’s okay really, I’m not interested. I’m sure other people will be though.
So perhaps you should call them instead of continuing to bother me!
TM: Maybe you should consider getting the free examination. There are long-term effects of skin neglect that you should consider.
Me: You know, if I was concerned about long-term effects, I should first be concerned about the long-term effects of my smoking and drinking.
TM: But skin damage is also an important issue.
How about telephone damage? Is there any long-term damage from telephone usage you should consider for yourself?
Me: I’ll make you a deal. The day after I start worrying about the long-term effects of my smoking and drinking, I’ll give you a call about my skin. Deal?
TM: We are located in Raffles Place so it’s very convenient for you to drop by from your office.
It was a perfectly reasonable deal, lady. Take it and you live to annoy someone else within the next 5 minutes!
Me: Yeah. Well, maybe if I’m dying of skin cancer but other than that, frankly, I’m just not the kind of person who cares so much about my skin, ok?
Sarcasm bordering on rudeness … must … fight temptation to be rude … must … call Captain Courtesy … for help …
TM: Ok, well, I hope to see you at our clinic someday soon.
Are you kidding? I just said I’d only go there if I have SKIN CANCER and you hope to see me there soon? Are you even listening?
Me: Gee, thanks. Bye.
TM: What about massage? Do you go for massages?
Does it come with a happy ending? I am doing my thesis on Full-Release Massage. Want to help?
Me: No, thanks. It was nice talking to you though, bye.
TM: Ok, thank you for your time.
About once a week I get a call from a tele-marketer about one of the following:
a) Some new product I don’t want regardless of the price;
b) Some old product I’ve never wanted regardless of the sale price;
c) One of the above that I don’t want to buy in bulk regardless of the discount price; or,
d) “Hello, is that Mr. Lee? No? Sorry, wrong number.”
My standard answer when offered some new product, old product, bulk product or wrong number is to say “No, thanks.” If they persist, I get sarcastic, just to amuse myself. They hang up fairly quickly from there. Today however, I got a call from the pushy tele-marketer (“TM”) with a surgically removed sense of sarcasm.
Lines in italics & grey are thoughts I had to stop myself from speaking out:-
TM: Hello Sir, I am calling about the flyer you received when you attended the Law-Media Debate at the Supreme Court last Friday. We got your number from the namecard you dropped into the box. Have you read the flyer?
Me: No. Can you just quickly tell me what it’s about?
TM: Well, we’re not a beautician …
Lady, we could be here all day if you keep telling me what you are not …
TM: We’re a clinic offering skin treatment, therapeutic massage and weight loss programs.
Ah! Old products I’ve never wanted unless I increase in bulk …
Me: You know, I don’t think I’ll be interested.
TM: Do you practice good skin care?
Me: I wear a hat sometimes when I play golf. Does that count?
Sarcasm mode engaged.
TM: If you come down to the clinic we will give you a free skin examination.
Me: It’s okay really, I’m not interested. I’m sure other people will be though.
So perhaps you should call them instead of continuing to bother me!
TM: Maybe you should consider getting the free examination. There are long-term effects of skin neglect that you should consider.
Me: You know, if I was concerned about long-term effects, I should first be concerned about the long-term effects of my smoking and drinking.
TM: But skin damage is also an important issue.
How about telephone damage? Is there any long-term damage from telephone usage you should consider for yourself?
Me: I’ll make you a deal. The day after I start worrying about the long-term effects of my smoking and drinking, I’ll give you a call about my skin. Deal?
TM: We are located in Raffles Place so it’s very convenient for you to drop by from your office.
It was a perfectly reasonable deal, lady. Take it and you live to annoy someone else within the next 5 minutes!
Me: Yeah. Well, maybe if I’m dying of skin cancer but other than that, frankly, I’m just not the kind of person who cares so much about my skin, ok?
Sarcasm bordering on rudeness … must … fight temptation to be rude … must … call Captain Courtesy … for help …
TM: Ok, well, I hope to see you at our clinic someday soon.
Are you kidding? I just said I’d only go there if I have SKIN CANCER and you hope to see me there soon? Are you even listening?
Me: Gee, thanks. Bye.
TM: What about massage? Do you go for massages?
Does it come with a happy ending? I am doing my thesis on Full-Release Massage. Want to help?
Me: No, thanks. It was nice talking to you though, bye.
TM: Ok, thank you for your time.
# posted by Fore! @ 7:45 AM 
