Tuesday, January 23, 2007
To Be[nd over] or Not to Be[nd over]
The big news in the legal community right now is the discrimination lawsuit that a gay Associate filed against white shoe law firm Sullivan & Cromwell in the New York Supreme Court last week.
In the filed Complaint, Aaron Charney alleges that amongst other incidents, a Partner threw a document at his feet and told him to "bend over and pick it up - I'm sure you like that." He also alleges that the next day, the same Partner handed him a document and said "I just took a sh*t while reading this, and some might still be on there for you." The allegations are all the more surprising because S&C has openly gay Partners such as John O'Brien.
An ex-colleague of mine said she didn't think there was anything to complain about because Charney was being given work to do, which showed the Partner trusted him and he wouldn't lose his job from being redundant :) Yeah right, I'd like to see how she reacts if I ever threw anything at her feet and asked her to bend over and pick it up. I'm pretty sure that within a few seconds I would be looking for my phone ... deep up my *ss ... trying to get it out before she makes a call on vibration mode.
Anyway, as serious and surprising as the allegations in Charney's Complaint are, at the end of the day, what interested me the most was the exhibit at the end of the Complaint containing a copy of S&C's Partnership Agreement. So that's how they split profits, retire Partners and make partnership decisions! I'm such a cynic.
The big news in the legal community right now is the discrimination lawsuit that a gay Associate filed against white shoe law firm Sullivan & Cromwell in the New York Supreme Court last week.
In the filed Complaint, Aaron Charney alleges that amongst other incidents, a Partner threw a document at his feet and told him to "bend over and pick it up - I'm sure you like that." He also alleges that the next day, the same Partner handed him a document and said "I just took a sh*t while reading this, and some might still be on there for you." The allegations are all the more surprising because S&C has openly gay Partners such as John O'Brien.
An ex-colleague of mine said she didn't think there was anything to complain about because Charney was being given work to do, which showed the Partner trusted him and he wouldn't lose his job from being redundant :) Yeah right, I'd like to see how she reacts if I ever threw anything at her feet and asked her to bend over and pick it up. I'm pretty sure that within a few seconds I would be looking for my phone ... deep up my *ss ... trying to get it out before she makes a call on vibration mode.
Anyway, as serious and surprising as the allegations in Charney's Complaint are, at the end of the day, what interested me the most was the exhibit at the end of the Complaint containing a copy of S&C's Partnership Agreement. So that's how they split profits, retire Partners and make partnership decisions! I'm such a cynic.
Monday, January 22, 2007
Horrorscope for Week of January 22nd
While no one will ever take your place in her heart, two tennis instructors, a guitarist and most of your friends have already taken your place in her other areas.
While no one will ever take your place in her heart, two tennis instructors, a guitarist and most of your friends have already taken your place in her other areas.
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
What Corporate Lawyers Do
Borrowed from Above The Law:
You and a friend go out to eat, and you decide to share a pizza. Each of you hires a corporate lawyer to negotiate its division.
The piping hot pizza is brought out to your table. Before you can eat it, the corporate lawyers tell you and your friend that they must do their "due diligence."
You sit at the table, watching the pizza cool, while the lawyers muck around in the kitchen. You hear the clanging of pots and pans. After an eternity, the lawyers emerge. Your lawyer informs you that, based upon his comprehensive review, he has concluded that this pizza is made of dough, tomato sauce, and cheese.
Your lawyer then warns you about the pitfalls of pizza consumption. You might get heartburn or indigestion. If you're lactose-intolerant, the cheese might upset your stomach. The pizza may contain trans fats. Your lawyer adds that, if you eat the pizza too soon after it emerges from the oven, you could burn your tongue. Of course, there's no danger of that now, since the pizza grew cold a long time ago.
Then your lawyer turns to the lawyer for your friend. It's time to negotiate. They step outside the pizza parlor and argue, in animated fashion, for half an hour. The oil on the surface of the pizza is starting to congeal. Your stomach is grumbling audibly.
Finally, the lawyers return. They have concluded that you and your friend should divide the eight-slice pie evenly, fifty-fifty. After each lawyer takes out his one-slice fee, that leaves you and your friend with three cold, soggy slices apiece.
At this point, you have no desire to eat the pizza, which is completely disgusting. So you go up to the counter and order a garden salad. It's so much healthier than pizza.
Your transactional lawyer just increased your lifespan. Aren't corporate lawyers great?
Borrowed from Above The Law:
You and a friend go out to eat, and you decide to share a pizza. Each of you hires a corporate lawyer to negotiate its division.
The piping hot pizza is brought out to your table. Before you can eat it, the corporate lawyers tell you and your friend that they must do their "due diligence."
You sit at the table, watching the pizza cool, while the lawyers muck around in the kitchen. You hear the clanging of pots and pans. After an eternity, the lawyers emerge. Your lawyer informs you that, based upon his comprehensive review, he has concluded that this pizza is made of dough, tomato sauce, and cheese.
Your lawyer then warns you about the pitfalls of pizza consumption. You might get heartburn or indigestion. If you're lactose-intolerant, the cheese might upset your stomach. The pizza may contain trans fats. Your lawyer adds that, if you eat the pizza too soon after it emerges from the oven, you could burn your tongue. Of course, there's no danger of that now, since the pizza grew cold a long time ago.
Then your lawyer turns to the lawyer for your friend. It's time to negotiate. They step outside the pizza parlor and argue, in animated fashion, for half an hour. The oil on the surface of the pizza is starting to congeal. Your stomach is grumbling audibly.
Finally, the lawyers return. They have concluded that you and your friend should divide the eight-slice pie evenly, fifty-fifty. After each lawyer takes out his one-slice fee, that leaves you and your friend with three cold, soggy slices apiece.
At this point, you have no desire to eat the pizza, which is completely disgusting. So you go up to the counter and order a garden salad. It's so much healthier than pizza.
Your transactional lawyer just increased your lifespan. Aren't corporate lawyers great?
Weekly Horrorscopes
It's a new feature I've decided to include in the blog from this year. However, since 3 weeks have past, I'm a little behind time so here are the first 3 weeks' horrorscopes (not a typo error, you'll understand why fairly quickly):
Horrorscope for Week of January 1st 2007:
You will be shocked and embarrassed when the arresting police officers explain that cock-fighting is supposed to involve chickens.
Horrorscope for Week of January 8th 2007:
The stars say you’re looking pretty good. Also, they need to borrow twenty bucks.
Horrorscope for Week of January 15th 2007:
You will come close to becoming a hero when you ALMOST succeed in pulling an old lady out of the way of a speeding van.
It's a new feature I've decided to include in the blog from this year. However, since 3 weeks have past, I'm a little behind time so here are the first 3 weeks' horrorscopes (not a typo error, you'll understand why fairly quickly):
Horrorscope for Week of January 1st 2007:
You will be shocked and embarrassed when the arresting police officers explain that cock-fighting is supposed to involve chickens.
Horrorscope for Week of January 8th 2007:
The stars say you’re looking pretty good. Also, they need to borrow twenty bucks.
Horrorscope for Week of January 15th 2007:
You will come close to becoming a hero when you ALMOST succeed in pulling an old lady out of the way of a speeding van.
