Wednesday, November 05, 2008

 
President Elect Obama's First Act is to Buy a Dog

At a victory rally in Grant Park, Chicago, President Elect Barack Obama stunned supporters when he implied that his first act as the new leader of the free world would be to buy a dog for his daughters:

"I would not be standing here tonight without the unyielding support of my best friend for the last 16 years, the rock of our family and the love of my life, our nation's next First Lady, Michelle Obama. Sasha and Malia, I love you both so much, and you have earned the new puppy that's coming with us to the White House."

Reactions across America to this announcement have been mixed. Joe Notreal, a plumber in Ohio, said "I voted for Obama because I thought he had vision and wanted to change America. I didn't think his first act would be to buy a dog for his daughters. I hope his Presidency does a lot more than that because otherwise we'd might as well have just kept Bush in the White House."

Jackson Fakename of Tampa, Florida, said "I think it's great Obama did that. Now I can tell my children they're only ever getting a puppy if I get elected President of the USA!"

Obama's Campaign Manager David Plouffe immediately went into damage control mode by telling reporters that "President Elect Obama certainly does not intend to stop at buying a puppy. This campaign has been about change and his Presidency will fulfill that promise. The President Elect fully intends to start with buying a puppy and then move on to buying 2 cats, a parrot and maybe an iguana. He just doesn't want to tell his daughters yet. By the time his first term as President is done, the White House would have undergone significant change in terms of the number of household pets it has to care for."

Obama's Chief Strategist David Alexrod added that, "To begin the process of healing the nation, President Elect Obama may even consider buying a moose for when Governor Sarah Palin visits. As you can see therefore, this first presidential act of buying a puppy for his daughters is firmly in line with his stance that we are not a nation of blue states and red states but a nation which is quite clearly going to the dogs."

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